Same ol’ lunchbox

An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck are doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They are eating lunch and the Irishman says, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one…

Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad’s bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! “Dad!” says Johnny, “What are you doing!” Johnny’s…

Two Irish Catholics are digging a ditch across the street from a brothel. It is slow work. One morning while they are digging away, they see a rabbi slip into the building. “Oh what is the world coming to,” one…

A city slicker goes out into the woods to bag a bear. He has been warned about “El Diablo”, the meanest bear in the woods and was told not to try to kill him. The city slicker sees El Diablo…

Late at night this guy runs into a pub and asks for a glass of water from the landlord. The guy drinks it in one gulp then asks for a second glass. Six glasses later, and he has recovered enough…

It’s a big gala party at an East Coast mansion. A woman from Texas and a woman from New York bump into each other. The woman from Texas says to the woman from New York, “Hi! I’m from Texas. Where…

They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye — very young, ravishing and delectable. As they each read their menus, the…

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, “Well, you see that 3 pack?…

One day when the teacher walks into the classroom, she sees someone has written the word ‘PENIS’ (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scans the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubs the word off and…

Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, “Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open.” He did…

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well. Inside…

Chocolate is Better than Sex Because …. You can GET chocolate. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. “If you love me, you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate. You can safely have chocolate when you are driving.…