Q. What do call a thousand pound lady with a condom in her pocket?
A. A half ton with a box liner
Q. What is a man’s idea of protected sex?
A. A padded headboard.
Q. What do you get when you mix a dinosaur and a lesbian?
A. A lickalotapuss
Q. What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A. A Cock that stays up all night.
Q. What is 6.9?
A. Good sex interrupted by a period.
Q. What do a Rubic cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toypen?
A. Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio’s face saying, “Lie to me! lie to me!”
Q. What’s the difference between an airship and 365 blowjobs?
A. One is a Goodyear, the other is an excellent year.
Q. What is the ultimate definition of courage?
A. Two cannibals having oral sex.
Q. How do you tell that you have a high sperm count?
A. Your date has to chew before she swallows.
Q. How come Mike Tyson`s eyes always water during sex?
Q. What’s the definition of a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but you do it yourself
Q. Why do women fake orgasms?
A. Because they think men care.
Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?
A. No ball room
Q. How many desperate housewives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Housewives don’t screw in lightbulbs. They screw in mini-vans and SUV’s.