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A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on…

Three hunters are getting ready for a hunt, one is smart, one is “part smart, part dumb” (her words), and one is all dumb. The smart one goes out, and comes back with a deer. The other two hunters ask…

“There are people who have money and people who are rich.” -Coco Chanel

“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger  

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain