Hey what’s wrong with my dog?
The sad fellow carried his dog into the veterinarian. “Doc,” the fellow says, “my dog is really, really sick. Can you do something for him?” The doc takes a look at the dog. Pokes him a couple of times. Puts…
That bird just pooped on me!
The guy and his blonde date were sitting on a park bench, enjoying the nice summer afternoon. Suddenly, the fellow feels something wet plop on his head. He reaches up and sure enough, there’s a pile of pigeon poop in…
I called my wife Minnie
A fellow goes to his doctor and says, “When I got up this morning, for some reason I put on a pair of white gloves and then I called my wife ‘Minnie.’ That isn’t her name. “Then, on the way…
Let me tell you how many cows you have
A farmer named Fred was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Ontario when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan®…
Same ol’ lunchbox
An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck are doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They are eating lunch and the Irishman says, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one…
Little Johnny 1.0
Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad’s bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! “Dad!” says Johnny, “What are you doing!” Johnny’s…
Such a world
Two Irish Catholics are digging a ditch across the street from a brothel. It is slow work. One morning while they are digging away, they see a rabbi slip into the building. “Oh what is the world coming to,” one…
Good question
A city slicker goes out into the woods to bag a bear. He has been warned about “El Diablo”, the meanest bear in the woods and was told not to try to kill him. The city slicker sees El Diablo…
Romping
Late at night this guy runs into a pub and asks for a glass of water from the landlord. The guy drinks it in one gulp then asks for a second glass. Six glasses later, and he has recovered enough…
Bumpkin
It’s a big gala party at an East Coast mansion. A woman from Texas and a woman from New York bump into each other. The woman from Texas says to the woman from New York, “Hi! I’m from Texas. Where…
Dinner is served
They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye — very young, ravishing and delectable. As they each read their menus, the…
Counting
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, “Well, you see that 3 pack?…